Spring is here

I think spring has arrived although it’s quite hard to tell as one day it’s sunny and then the next day it hails. We’ve even had snow recently. But overall I think it is here. The garden smells different and Deana’s been busy mowing the grass and planting flowers. And even though my eyesight is getting worse, when we go to the forest I can tell that everything is brighter and greener. Sometimes I don’t like this – the brightness hurts my eyes – but mostly it’s nice. The ground is harder and that means Harry doesn’t get carried over the mud (I feel a bit jealous when this happens even though I don’t like being carried myself) and there are just so many more smells to explore. Spring also means that the back door is left open for me and Harry to come and go as we please which is a good thing as the garden smells waft inside and also it means I don’t have to use the dog-flap. We have a new one and I’m not too sure how it works. Harry says it’s more or less the same as the old one but I’m not sure he’s right. If he is, why does he pee inside so much?

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And we’ve been to the groomer’s too, which is another sign that spring is here. Deana decided not to cut my hair herself this year, which is a good thing as she is not very good at it. (Even I could tell I looked like a flea-bitten teddy left under a bush for years). The grooming parlour is inside the same building as the vet and I could smell the vet as soon as Deana walked us inside and I thought oh no why has she brought us here? And I started to panic breathe and have bad thoughts about Harry needing the vet, not me, but fortunately neither of us was there for the vet and we went straight into the groomer parlour, which was a huge relief. Continue reading

On My Own

Hello again. It’s me, Buzbuz. I know I haven’t said much for a long while now but it’s been quite a year. My mum, Cinderella, died in the summer and, well…I didn’t really want to talk about anything much, to anyone.

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I’m not sure I want to say much about it now – it makes me too sad – but I want to let you know what’s happening in my life and I want to start feeling a bit happier, even though nothing is the same without my mum.

Mostly, it’s just really quiet without her. I was sure at the beginning that she’d come back. I knew she’d been ill and I knew that Deana was burying something in the garden and crying a lot, but I just didn’t make the connection. Mum wasn’t there but she’d come back. Of course she would. She’d never leave me. We’d been together every day for nearly 13 years. And so I just carried on, going on walks in the woods and sleeping lots but one day it hit me hard that she was gone, forever. I mean, I know I will see her again. All dogs know that. And I know that sometimes she comes back as a little ghost and has a wander round our house when she thinks we’re all sleeping, just to check on us, because that’s what dogs do. I can’t snuggle up with her or ask her to lick my face clean, but I can see her and that makes me feel a little bit better. But also a little bit worse when she leaves again. Deana’s dog before us, Luigi, still does it sometimes, even though he never lived with us at this house, even though he never even knew me and Mum. Continue reading

Following in Mum’s paw prints…

I haven’t been well. Deana thinks I have what Mum has. She took me to the vet, so that I could have the same meds as Mum has but our normal vet had gone home to Romania for a few weeks and we had to see a vet who doesn’t know me well. Deana wasn’t very happy. He said I might have cancer, pneumonia or a cough, which she has told everyone seems a bit hit and miss. He gave me antibiotics and said to come back but Deana said we will wait a few extra days and see our regular vet. I don’t know about pneumonia but I’ve had cancer twice before so I know it’s not that. I think Deana is right and I’ve got the same condition as Mum. Our hearts aren’t working the way they used to and we can’t clear our lungs and spend a lot of time coughing and spluttering. This makes Deana and my other family members, Bano and Sid, very worried, but I think it’s the fact that I can’t walk like I could just a couple of weeks ago which makes Deana even more concerned. We went away to the Cotswolds to stay with her sister and on one of our walks I couldn’t make it and I let her carry me which I have never ever done before. I tried to not let her see that I was tired but I just couldn’t make it.

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Back at the Vet’s

Poor Mum is not well at all. She’s been to the vet’s about four times over the last two weeks and she hates it. She’s had pills and injections and on Monday when we went the nurse told Deana that she should think about putting Mum down and that very probably I’d die soon afterwards too, “because that’s what happens when you have two. They pine for each other.” Deana burst into tears and I wish I could have told her that even though Mum is really ill we’re not going anywhere fast whatever that nurse says. It’s times like this that I wish I had human words. But all I could do was look as healthy and happy as possible, so there was none of my usual antics and panic at the vets. No panting and trying to escape through the door. No throwing myself off the vet’s table. I held it together really well. When we got home Mum said she was really proud of me.

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Anyway we were back at the vet this morning and he said that the new pills were working and that Mum was a lot better which Deana said means she doesn’t have to think about anything horrible for now. Mum has to take pills for the rest of her life. Heart pills and lung pills. And these pills mean she’s going to be peeing even more than she already does. Deana says we won’t be going back to the vet for a long time. That she will keep Mum going for as long as she can.  Continue reading

Hello Again

It’s been ages since I said hello but I’ve been very busy helping my owner Deana finish her Masters.

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She decided that her final project would be a book about being happy, written by me. It took so much time for me to tell her everything I know about happiness (lots!) and we had to spend ages in the kitchen at her desk. By the end I almost wished I knew a little bit less about being happy, but now it’s done and me and Mum are having nice long walks again and I can fit under the desk (one of my favourite napping spots) now that all the books and papers have been cleared out. There’s also more time for cuddles on the sofa and trips in the car. Deana says she will never study like this again so I think the extra cuddles, long walks and car rides are here to stay. Continue reading

At the Vet

I’ve just been to the vet which is never good. And I went without Mum which is always worse. I go with Mum for vaccinations which we never like but we know it’s going to be over really quickly. Without Mum it means I’m ill. When we went to live with Deana we went for a check-up at the vet in Malta and she found I had breast cancer. That meant I had to go to the vet a lot, always without Mum. I had two operations to have the tumours removed and I had lots of stitches. It wasn’t a good time. I couldn’t run or even walk very fast and everyone looked at my scars when we did go for walks. The worst bit though was that Mum wouldn’t be in the same room as me. She’s apologised for it but it hurt my feelings. She said she doesn’t like the smell of operations and stitches, which I think is strange for someone who smells quite badly herself, but anyway, none of that matters now. When it was over and I was well again, I was so happy even though I still had to keep going to the vet so that she could check for lumps in case the cancer came back. Continue reading