We’re home! I am so excited. I don’t even mind that Deana’s washed our beds or put us in the shower ‘for a good scrub’. I did mind a lot when it was happening. I hate the bubbles and how clean I feel and how it takes ages to smell like me again, but I don’t care about any of that now.
I’ve been following Deana constantly. I’ve made sure she’s emptied all the suitcases and put them away upstairs. I’ve made sure she remembers that we refuse to eat kibble when we come back from kennels which means that me and Mum won’t go anywhere near our dog dishes without looking disgusted and so we’ve eaten all kinds of lovely things like cheese and edamame beans and sausages and mashed potato. And I’ve made sure she’s not gone away again by going in and out of her bedroom constantly. I wake her up, get a cuddle and do it all over again in an hour. She’s too tired now to even think about planning any more holidays. Continue reading
I was right to be a bit shifty about the packing and the suitcases all over the house. Deana did go away and she didn’t take us with her. Me and Mum have had to go to kennels. We’ve been here before so we should be used to it but I’m definitely not. I hate how there isn’t a sofa for us to lie on and no one feeds us bits of pizza or leftover chicken kebabs. It’s just a kennel and run, with our beds in a corner, and even though we keep peeing in our beds it just doesn’t feel like home.
Mum is better at kennel life than I am. For a start her hearing problem means she doesn’t mind all the barking. I’m happy that everyone wants to say hello a few times, but then I want some peace and quiet. I don’t want to know that the Dachshund three kennels down can only poo if she’s taken for a walk where there’s grass, or that the labrador with the weight issues is going to devour the Chihuahua next door if he doesn’t get more kibble immediately. And I’m not scared of the Dalmation who says he could eat me and Mum and not even notice. I want it to be silent so I can hear Deana’s car pull up when she comes to get us. But with this lot of whiny babies I can’t hear a thing.
My human-mum, Deana, is packing. It makes me nervous, because I like things to stay exactly as they are. There are boxes all over the place and she is hurrying from room to room, grabbing books and toys and asking me where all the kitchen gadgets have come from. She says, ‘Have you been to Lakeland again Buzbuz?’ I’ve tried my best but I can’t keep up with her so I’ve decided to lie on the sofa and keep an eye on things from there. So far my lead and bed haven’t been packed but my raincoat has! Which means I am definitely going with her. Definitely, definitely. Mum says I’m ridiculous to think that we’d be left behind. She says that I should spend more time asleep and less time worrying about everything. It’s like she doesn’t know me at all.
I hate that raincoat and if the box it’s in goes missing that would be a really good thing. It’s turquoise and itchy and I look ridiculous in it. And it has Velcro. I’m very scared of Velcro. Deana made me try on the coat in the pet shop. I had to stand there in front of a dog that wasn’t Mum, a rabbit and a couple of chinchillas. Even though they all said, no, that’s a terrible look, she bought it. Poor Mum got a black and gold woolly coat. It makes her look like a very angry wasp. Continue reading
I don’t know why, but children love me and Mum. Deana says it’s because we are small and orange. When they spot us in the park or across the street, they run at us shouting ‘puppies!’ and then they stroke us and pat us and squeeze our heads really tightly. We are not allowed to react at all. No barking or growling. And Deana tells Mum, ‘there’ll be no hissing, thank you very much.’ It’s the running and shouting that scares me. And the head squeezing.
Some children don’t like us and I think I prefer those. They are the ones that scream when they see us walking down the street. Deana says ‘it’s not personal’, that some children are afraid of all dogs. I would like to tell them that some dogs are afraid of all children.
Except I do like some of them. I like the quiet ones that stroke my back and then leave me alone and I like the ones that drop food on the floor when they come to our house. And I love Deana’s children, Bano and Sid. They are not always quiet but they do drop lots of food on the floor, especially at meal times when Deana’s not looking. Continue reading